Ask Sarah: Boys who sing

Dear Sarah,



I am a musician, and there are some girls I want to impress at the club where I play. Now, long ago Eddie Murphy taught me that girls go wild for guys who sing. I write lots of songs, but I never sing them because my voice is crap. So what I'm wondering is, is a guy who sings sexy even if he sucks? Or should I just stick to guitar? I would tend to think that the singing needs to be good, but then how do you explain Bob Dylan?



As a followup, whose lyrics are hotter, Led Zeppelin ("Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg") or Nine Inch Nails ("She spreads herself wide open to let the insects in")?


-Mystified in D Minor



p.s. You should come see me play next time you're in the solar system :)





You know what? I love it when boys try. It's adorable. Even when they fail miserably at something, it's pretty cute to watch a boy struggle to impress you. So you should probably sing.


But if you're bad at singing, you should only ever sing while you're doing something else well. You play the guitar, so you should always sing and play the guitar at the same time. Why? It's more adorable that way. Girls think: "oh how cute, he is trying to multi-task and he can't." Where if you just sing alone (and you really are as bad as you say) it will be painfully more obvious that you can't actually sing.


But actually drummers are totally hot. They have those sticks and that amazing rhythm, and I mean... you can just see that it would translate to... uh, other activities.


Erm. What?


I have some scientific evidence that points to Bob Dylan actually being from a solar system different from yours. I don't have enough to publish this theory yet, but I would instruct you to not try to comprehend him. You can't.


As to the hotter lyrics, I always really liked this one band from my hometown. Totally dirty stuff. It's so hot. Sadly, though, I can't translate it into English. I think if I had to pick a song in English it would be neither of your choices but Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me."  I don't know why, but something about that song makes every female creature within ear shot go completely crazy.


That being said, I will totally come to one of your shows if you cover that song for me. And let me dance on stage 

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