August 2008 Archives
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Dear Sarah, my roommate says that this girl in the elevator was coming
on to me, but I never even noticed her. How do I know when a woman is
interested in me?
--
Perplexed in Pittsburgh
Dear Pip,
You know, I've never really
understood human behavior. I mean, if
you're interested in someone, it seems pretty obvious to me that you should
just show them your boobs. Especially if you're in an elevator! There are so
many possibilities...
But I guess your planet's social
mores prohibit this sort of exchange, so women have developed coy strategies to
announce to you that they are interested. Most of this has to do with facial
expression, which probably explains why men are always so confused - how many
times are you really looking that hot girl in the face? I know I don't.
I would say the easiest way to
tell is to pay attention to her eye gaze. Is she looking you in the eye while
you are conversing? Is the exchange between you easy and fluid? If yes, she's
not into you like that. If she meets you gaze fleetingly - casting her eyes
down when you make eye contact, only to look back up to see if you are still
looking, then you know there is interest there.
The other super easy way to spot
interest is touch. Does she touch you when she doesn't have to? No, not like
that (although that is certainly an obvious answer) but instead, does she touch
your arm when she talks to you. Does she let her hand linger a moment too long when
she taps you to get you attention? These are also key signs.
The only problem, of course, is
that it's so much more fun to stare at her chest.
Kisses,
Sarah
Hello Faithful Readers! Today you will find the first installment of "Ask Sarah," my weekly advice column. Below is a letter that a reader sent in (asksarah@cosmichellcats.com) and my response to his plight. I will be selecting a new letter to respond to every Thursday night/Friday morning (what? sometimes I don't make it home) so be sure to check every Friday to see if I have responded to your letter! And, of course, if you don't have any issues, I also love fan mail! Sarah@cosmichellcats.com!
___________________
Hi Sarah!
I'm a theoretical physicist working to reconcile quantum mechanics with Einstein's theory of relativity, thus producing a "theory of everything." My problem is that the other physicists don't take my work seriously because I live in an old van on the beach and spend a lot of time surfing.
How can I convince them to take me seriously?
Garrett Lisi
P.S. You can read more about my plight here:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/07/21/080721fa_ fact_wallacewells
P.P.S. I tried moving into a yurt, but that didn't help .
Dear GL,
Being smart is like, really hard sometimes. Especially when you're not within the confines of what people want to think "smart" looks like or acts like.
For example: I've actually taught classes in the Theory of Everything discipline that you're studying. I know Earth is a little behind the times, but I've read over your papers and let's just say you're on the right track. Here is the thing. The class is like, uber important. In fact, it's practically a requirement to graduate. And you know what? I can't get any girls to sign up for the class. Oh sure, I have students coming out of the woodwork, but almost all of them are male. And it makes me sad, because I would really like to see some girls get involved in the sciences. But no, every class I teach is filled with handsome, young, charming boys, who are so tan and toned and...
Um, anyway. The trick is to make that stereotype work for you. I, for instance, make my tests really hard. And I put on distraction questions like, "for extra credit, what color thong was I wearing on Tuesday of last week?" If a student answers that question right, I fail them. Obviously they are not interested in the kind of physics I am paid to teach. Then I invite them out for some extra credit in... other... physics disciplines (assuming, of course, they are cute).
Everybody wins.
So the trick is not to make them take you seriously. The trick is to prove them wrong. No one takes me seriously. But I'm one of 5 people in the galaxy that can repair a hyperwarp drive, so it really doesn't matter what they think. Because someday, they are going to need their drive fixed (the darn things are only good for so long).
The same goes for you. Who cares if they think you are some crazy who lives in a van /yurt and surfs and snowboards all the time (I think that's really hot, by the way. I've always wanted to live in a yurt)? Once you fundamentally prove the existence of your everything theory they can't really discredit you. They can still not take you seriously, but then you just get a hot trophy girl to go along with the subsequent Nobel prize and you won't care what they think anyway.
At least, that's what works for me. Or a boob job, I guess, but you might not get as much self esteem from that procedure as some others.
Kisses,
Sarah
More bears for the book. Riley's a babe.
∑8-) max
